pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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