I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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