i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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