i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
