what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
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I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
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That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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