Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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