But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
