My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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