She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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