plz talk dirty to me
Do you still have your period?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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