i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
