Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
