No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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