Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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