Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize