i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
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Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had