my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
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after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
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he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.