You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....