yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time