i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
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I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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