dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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