Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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