Kareoke will never be a sober sport
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature