Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.