I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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