party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
