This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
