what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
