Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
