woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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