i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
