doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
