forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
