Will you blow on my dice?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
