i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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