sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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