So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
