my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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