are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
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I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
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Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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