in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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