STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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