So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
my liver is dry heaving
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
