By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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