But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
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The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
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The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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