I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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