We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
