Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
