garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize