best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
