Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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