I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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