ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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