sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize