Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hippo gnu deer
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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