Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Randomize
