Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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