Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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