New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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