Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The Olympian is in my bed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
