So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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