Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
