OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
